Should an Unmarried Couple Share a Bank Account??

First Person: Should an Unmarried Couple Share a Joint Bank Account?

Publish Date: 10/08/2011

*Note: This was written by a Yahoo! contributor. Do you have a personal finance story that you'd like to share? Sign up with the Yahoo! Contributor Network to start publishing your own finance articles.

A leading financial website recently raised the question by a young couple as to whether opening a joint bank account was a good idea. I was taken aback by the overwhelmingly negative response to this. Soon after our engagement, my wife and I established a joint bank account where we willingly shared our limited resources. We have been married over 45 years now, having entered into matrimony at the ripe old age of 21, and never once have joint financial commitments become an issue. You might say that naivete and good luck had played a role in our good fortune but I say that establishing trust in one another at the outset is the real reason, for not just financial compatibility but for longevity in our relationship.

Our parents and their brothers and sisters all had long marriages when divorce was unheard of, so to us the vow of "til death us do part" was not just an empty phrase but something to willfully commit to for a lifetime. When I see couples wanting to sign "prenuptial" agreements, it displays an appalling lack of trust in the other partner. It shows not only a lack of trust but indicates that failure is a likely outcome of this relationship.

Infidelity has been cited as the top reason for divorce. David Walker in his article "the Top 4 Reasons People Divorce" states: " And if marriage is about anything, it's about being able to trust your partner faithfully to do the right thing by you. Once the trust is broken, the marriage, in essence, is over - even if the couple choose not to pursue a divorce". If you cannot trust your partner to be a faithful steward over a joint bank account, then you will not trust your partner to be faithful in other aspects of your relationship.

Perhaps there is a reason why the first point of the Scout Law is to be "trustworthy". Trust is defined by the "free dictionary" as: "the Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing." The lack of this trust is a flag that the relationship may not be founded on a solid foundation, While a young couple entering into a first marriage with limited resources would not need a prenuptial agreement, it is recognized that a prenup would be advised for couples marrying for a second time in order to fairly allocate assets in the event of death or both parties.

The one essential element in an enduring relationship:

Trust is the key to a long and happy relationship. The willingness of a young couple to start their journey with sharing of resources is a good indicator of this essential element.

Becoming Landlords

First Person: Becoming Landlords

Publish Date: 08/05/2011

*Note: This was written by a Yahoo! contributor. Do you have a personal finance story that you'd like to share? Sign up with the Yahoo! Contributor Network to start publishing your own finance articles.

My wife and I have been married for 45 years now and 37 of those years have found our Central Maine summer camp our joy, refuge, and now our permanent home. As a young married couple, purchasing a summer "camp" on a nearby lake was a bit of a stretch, but in those days many locals had modest "camps" which dotted the many glacial lakes and ponds in our area. With careful budgeting we were able to cover the modest monthly mortgage payments and were able to cover taxes by renting out our home in town to students taking summer courses at a local college, Getting our home ready for these seasonal tenants (we prefer to call them guests) was good practice for what was to come. What we learned over the years can be summarized in the following principles:

Use Sweat Equity to Build Value

When we first purchased our "camp" the water supply was pumped from the lake. While there was a flush, there was no shower or hot water. The walls were bare studs and the aluminum "storm" windows did little to keep out the wind which could be downright bone chilling in the Spring and Fall. Over the years, many improvements were carried out as cash was available. By performing most of the work ourselves, we were able to insulate, install new kitchen cabinets, a shower, hot water, space heaters, insulated windows, knotty pine walls, suspended ceilings, a new septic system, a drilled well, and a slab foundation. These investments allowed us to ultimately transform this little camp into a desirable year round rental cottage. In subsequent years, we built a larger structure on the lake side of the camp road which is now our home.

Use a Professional to List Your Property

Our initial tenants worked out well and were friendly, kept the property clean, and always paid their rent on time. When the breadwinner of the family had trouble finding work, we did a little networking and helped him land a job. This was not only a neighborly gesture but good business as well, since a job would be necessary if he was to continue paying the rent. A subsequent tenant opened our eyes to the horror that can await the unsuspecting landlord. Being in a desirable location on the lake, the camp brought hundreds of replies to an ad in the paper. After one party had rented the cottage for over a year, another family moved in with them and one of the two original lessors moved out. After a couple of months the rent checks stopped coming and the exterior was beginning to look kind of messy. . It turned out that they had brought in cats, but no litter box. The cats urinated and defecated all over the inside making quite a stinky mess. By the time we were able to evict these folks, which was a trying process, the damage had been done. It was necessary to tear up all carpet and dispose of all furniture to get rid of the smell. Subsequently the services of a property management company were used to screen prospective tenants and to draw up a detailed lease.

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness

When preparing our property to rent, we scrub everything until it shines. Carpet and linoleum are cleaned or replaced. A responsible tenant appreciates this extra effort and will usually make an effort to keep it that way.

Practice the Golden Rule

Listen to your tenants. Once we were advised of a mouse problem, an exterminator was contacted and took care of not only the mice, but also the spiders, ants and other pests as well. To make tenants feel welcome to the lake, my wife prepares a little basket of goodies or a plant for them. When the Tree Service had to remove a dead tree from the property we gave the tenant a heads up that some noisy work would be taking place. We always provide numerous phone numbers to use in case of an emergency.

Establish Good Relationships With Your Suppliers

We had used a tree service to remove dead trees in the past so when we came home on the 4th of July to find a storm had knocked over a huge maple with branches lying on the roof of the house, a call to the same tree contractor had him out the next day to take it down. We recommended this contractor to neighbors as his jobs were fairly priced, he has excellent equipment and, most importantly, he works with meticulous attention to safety. We also make sure to pay him before he leaves the job site as this saves him paperwork for billing and helps his cash flow so he can pay his help. We indeed are fortunate that in this part of the country most contractors still take pride in their work and want to keep their reputation as most of their jobs are from word of mouth recommendations.

This is Not My Father's Retirement

First Person: This Is Not My Father's Retirement

Publish Date: 10/04/2011

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At the age of 66 I recently retired from full-time employment, with 43 years of continuous involvement in the manufacturing sector. My father had retired in the late 60s at the age of 62, having lived through the Depression and spending the World War II years in support of the war effort in a Naval Shipyard. Although Dad only had a formal eighth grade education, he had a mechanical "gift" and was able to learn first the Automobile Mechanic's trade and then the Machinist trade. With the eventual shutdown of the shipyard during the early 60s Cold War, he was able to find employment at a prominent engineering school which had the assignment of building rocket guidance systems for the Apollo program. Despite the lack of a "formal" diploma he earned this job as a Machinist with this prestigious institution through a colleague who vouched for his abilities.

Dad was the breadwinner and Mom was a homemaker. We lived a comfortable suburban life in a community with public transportation, so the family managed nicely with just one car, which was the norm for our neighbors as well. Our parents had NO credit cards, having lived through the Depression, they viewed having debt as very bad. Not only did they have a nice little house, they had a nice summer camp as well. The only debt my parents ever had was mortgage debt which is something they made every effort to pay off as soon as possible.

I was the first person in the family to attend college, obtaining an engineering degree from a local university while living at home to save on housing costs. Having a technical degree and work experience enabled me to navigate through two employment changes while in my 50s when the plants I worked at were shut down. I saw these challenges in light of my Dad's ability to go through his change in employment when he was in his 50s when the shipyard shut down.

To Relocate or not?

My parents moved twice after retirement, first to a neighboring state with a lower tax structure, and finally following the sun to Florida. Both times his brother and sister and families followed them in their relocation. On the contrary, I have no plans to relocate as friends and family are nearby and, second, property is difficult to sell today.

Having worked for both the Federal Government and private enterprise, my parents were able to collect both Social Security and a Federal Pension. Today this would not be possible as you can collect only one or the other. My former employers had eliminated the defined benefit pensions with the advent of the 401(k) so my small pension will never be indexed up for inflation. Social Security is an important leg of our pension plan, as current market volatility takes its toll on 401(k) balances. There never seemed to be a concern that SS or Medicare would not be around for my parent's generation, but the current school of thought underscores the unsustainability of current programs. Instead of strengthening the support of these programs, it seems as if they will be dismantled for succeeding generations. It's looking like our children's retirement will not resemble our retirement either. I retired at an older age than my father and no doubt succeeding generations will retire at even an older age.

Lessons from our parent's generation

First, carry NO debt. Debt is bad, and that includes mortgage debt if you are retired. Second, live within your means; perhaps this means having only one automobile. Last and most important, having a strong faith foundation will give you the strength to overcome adversity.