A leading financial website recently raised the question by a young couple as to whether opening a joint bank account was a good idea. I was taken aback by the overwhelmingly negative response to this. Soon after our engagement, my wife and I established a joint bank account where we willingly shared our limited resources. We have been married over 45 years now, having entered into matrimony at the ripe old age of 21, and never once have joint financial commitments become an issue. You might say that naivete and good luck had played a role in our good fortune but I say that establishing trust in one another at the outset is the real reason, for not just financial compatibility but for longevity in our relationship.
Our parents and their brothers and sisters all had long marriages when divorce was unheard of, so to us the vow of "til death us do part" was not just an empty phrase but something to willfully commit to for a lifetime. When I see couples wanting to sign "prenuptial" agreements, it displays an appalling lack of trust in the other partner. It shows not only a lack of trust but indicates that failure is a likely outcome of this relationship.
Infidelity has been cited as the top reason for divorce. David Walker in his article "the Top 4 Reasons People Divorce" states: " And if marriage is about anything, it's about being able to trust your partner faithfully to do the right thing by you. Once the trust is broken, the marriage, in essence, is over - even if the couple choose not to pursue a divorce". If you cannot trust your partner to be a faithful steward over a joint bank account, then you will not trust your partner to be faithful in other aspects of your relationship.
Perhaps there is a reason why the first point of the Scout Law is to be "trustworthy". Trust is defined by the "free dictionary" as: "the Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing." The lack of this trust is a flag that the relationship may not be founded on a solid foundation, While a young couple entering into a first marriage with limited resources would not need a prenuptial agreement, it is recognized that a prenup would be advised for couples marrying for a second time in order to fairly allocate assets in the event of death or both parties.
The one essential element in an enduring relationship:
Trust is the key to a long and happy relationship. The willingness of a young couple to start their journey with sharing of resources is a good indicator of this essential element.
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